Kim-Baps and More

After taking a six hour nap, I was awoken for dinner! Dinner was very delicious. I'm fairly decent with chopsticks, but I definitely could use more practice.

At seven thirty there was a Wednesday night service at the church. I didn't undersatnd any of it, so I just read my Bible mainly. Afterwards, I met a lot of people. The word that I use the most is "anyang ha-se-yo", which means "hello" in a respectful way. Most of them either don't speak any English or are too shy to really talk to me. I understand. I know I'm always a bit shy to try to speak Spanish to someone I don't know.

Yesterday was "explore Chuncheon" day. For a breakfast/morning snack, I got a sweet potato and rice cake croissant at a bakery. Their bakeries are very great. We went to the university, walked around the streets, and went shopping. I didn't by much except for a couple of nail polishes and sweet Nightmare Before Christmas hand mirror.

For lunch, we stopped at a kim-bap (Korean-style sushi) place that was owned by church people. We ordered kim-chi and beef kim-baps, and they were served with yellow radishes and bean paste soup. Very delicious.

That night we went to a musical. I couldn't understand anything, but they were pretty expressive, so it was still interesting. Afterwards, Sarah and I went to a cafe and got shaved ice with fruit, honey, sweet bean sauce, and whipped cream, which was also wonderful. They should seriously sell those in the States. They beat the socks off of snowcones.

Korea!!!

So I'm in Korea now.
I spent Sunday hanging out with family and friends, and packing and getting ready to leave. I didn't get to bed until two and then got up by four so that I could make my six o'clock flight.
I somehow developed a killer cold, which is unfortunate, but I took several rounds of Airborne that helped me a bit.

The flights were generally pretty uneventful. I did run into my friend Ian's parents in the Chicago airport! They were heading back to Malaysia and were on my flight to Japan. I was pretty tired and had been worried about sleeping through the boarding of my flight, but they told me that they would wake me up if I didn't show up in time. I found a lovely piece of sun-warmed tile in a slightly more quiet and less crowded part of the airport, and partook in a two hour nap. That was nice, considering I wasn't able to sleep on the airplanes.

My long flight, the one to Japan, went well, but I was in one of the chairs that couldn't go back at all. Every time I started to fall asleep my head would just flop around, promptly waking me. I had no problems getting my baggage or going through customs (immigration), but after that I got a little confused about where to go. I asked a couple of people and finally found my way to the open area where I could change a little money. I watched some Korean history films (or something like that). I amused myself by making up dialogue for the characters. "I'm jealous of you because you look so much cooler than me in your mickey mouse hat." "Well, I stole it from a kindergartener, so that also shows that I'm tougher than you." "I will kill you for those words." Etc.

Around eleven, I went to the "sownuh" to sleep until Sarah's plane got in at five the next morning. It turned out to be a very ritzy place. They stored my bags for me and gave me a locker for my shoes. I had a small private room with glass doors and bench-like bed to sleep on. There were really nice showers with no doors, which I used, and bubbling pools and saunas, which I didn't use. I was very tempted by the pool, but I decided against it. I'm pretty sure that they would go in naked, but I wasn't quite sure and didn't feel like messing that one up.

In the morning I checked out and walked back to the arrival gate to wait for Sarah. It turns out that Sarah got in a little earlier than I had thought she would. She had been running all over the airport trying to find me! She paged me, and even went to the sownuh to ask if I were there. The lady told her that she didn't know! Oh well, at least we eventually found each other.

We took a bus to her town and were picked up by her dad. Before heading home, we went by the school where her mom teaches third grade. As soon as we walked into the classroom, this little girl came running at me waving her arms! I wasn't quite sure if she wanted a hug or a high five or what, so I ended up giving her double high five/hand shakes. I asked her what her name was and talked to her a little. The other kids were not nearly so precocious. After Sarah told her that I was from America, another little girl ran to a globe and tried to find America on it. I helped her find it and then showed her Colorado. :)

After seeing the school, we went home. Sarah's dad is a pastor, and they live on the top floor of their church building. Some people guys were working on the balcony out front, and they ran over and carried our bags upstairs. That's nice, since there's no elevator. We ate a great lunch, and now I'm tired.

So I think I'll take a nap now. Signing off for now.

Future (Of Course)

Well, I'm back. Again. I guess I'm just not so good at this whole blog thing. I shouldn't be too surprised, since I'm not even good at keeping a journal. Well, I'll try again. At least I can type with two hands now.

Yes, my casts are both off! They were removed a couple of weeks ago, and I've been working on bending them back into shape. It's definitely nice to be able to function on my own again.

The issue that's looming in my life as of late is, of course, my future. I think every other senior is thinking the same thing, so I'm definitely not unique. I can't believe that in only three weeks my whole college experience will be over.

I am excited, certainly, but I will definitely miss things here. I will miss being a college student. It's definitely an experience like none other. I love how there are so many people my age all in one place with the same goal: learning something and graduating. We all have at least that in common. I love being able to meet people from all over the country and world. It helps me with my perspective, I think. And I'm certainly going to miss staying up late and two o'clock Denny's runs and midnight movies and crazy campus events. There's just so much going on and people all around to talk to and hang out with. This I will miss.

Still, the future is very near (although I suppose it's something you can never catch). Soon I will be boarding a plane to Asia. The first part of my summer is certain (two weeks with my roommate in Korea, a month-long CELTA program in Thailand, and hanging out with my parents and siblings in Hong Kong), but after that? I don't know what it will be like living in another culture. How will I adjust to living in a big city? Will I make friends my age? Will I be able to find a job? Will I like it?

With all this uncertainty, I am apprehensive. I know that God is in control, but I so easily forget. I believe, Lord, but help my unbelief. My prayer now is that I will be able to trust in God and not worry about the future too much. Also, I pray that he would bless the relationships I make and the work that I do. Let my heart be at rest.

Dependence

So I broke my wrists the other night. Yes, both of them. As I've already explained probably a million times, I was at a concert. It was a good concert too. There's all sorts of "writerly details" I would love to put in here, but it takes me forever to type anything, so I won't. Basically, I fell very hard onto cement and tried to break my fall with my hands. As the doctor later said, I may drink a lot of milk, but milk can't win against concrete.

So it's kind of hard getting around without hands. I just got casts on this afternoon (which is amazing) but for two days I could barely use them. For the most part I have a pretty good attitude about it. I've never been one to dwell overly long on hardships. But still. It's hard to have to rely on others for every little thing. Like when I was hungry and no one was home to help me with food. Or when I couldn't get out of the bathroom because I couldn't turn the handle. Or when my friends have to wrap me in blankets before I go out and brush the hair out of my face. I've always hated crying in front of people, but I couldn't help it the other night when my friends were washing my face and I couldn't quite seem to communicate what I wanted.

This is hard, but it's been good too. I love being independent, doing things for myself. I like helping others. Now I can't even help myself. My independence spills into my spiritual life, as do all aspects of life. It's not that I think that I can do it on my own, but I am not always dependent on God to do his work in me. I do not listen. I do not always wait on him. I pray that I would come out of this a lot humbler and more ready to listen.

Forgiveness Sunday

I stayed up until 3:30 Saturday night, and that made my 8:00 alarm almost unbearable. I managed to drag my weary carcass out of bed and forced myself to get ready for church. Even though sometimes it's hard to get up, I'm always excited to go to church. That's just one thing I like about St. Nicholas'.

Thankfully, Rosey wasn't too sleepy, so she drove to Springdale. We made our usual coffee-stop at the Conoco on the way. An older man works there. He almost always wear slumpy jeans and a blue t-shirt, and he has a huge beard. Rosey and I decided a couple of weeks ago that he looks like a mountain man, and we really want to give him a flannel shirt. When we walked towards the counter with our travel-mugs of coffee (only fifty cents, by the way), he just waved us on. "You think I'm going to charge you girls when you come visit me every Sunday? Go on, now."

We got to church a little early and sat in the car talking and finishing our coffees. When we finally went in, Ray, an older man in a red hoodie and jeans, met us before we went into the sanctuary.
"Since Lent starts tomorrow, we are having a forgiveness service after the homily. You don't have to participate if you don't want to, since you're not orthodox, but you can if you want to." We thanked him, and tried to quietly find a seat. The service was already underway, but it always is like that. Their 9:00 prayer service bleeds into the divine liturgy, so we always enter in to singing, chanting, and incense.

During the liturgy, I was pleased to see how many of the songs I have memorized. I like knowing what is next, anticipating my favorite songs and prayers. We sang a new song today with a line about Christ bringing the world the Great Mercy. A beautiful line.

I had almost forgotten Ray's warning when Father James faced us at the end of the service. He explained that it was a special Sunday, a time to prepare ourselves for Lent. He asked one of the deacons to stand in front of him. He took his hands and said, "If I have offended you in anyway in the past year, either intentional or unintentional, will you forgive me?" The deacon responded, "God forgives and so do I." Then they kissed each other's cheeks three times, alternating sides. Then the deacon stood on the priest's left, and another person came up. I was a bit amazed as I watched the whole church filing up to do the same.

I hovered, and then decided to join the stream of people. Sure, I don't know half the people in the church, but it was rather wonderful to be a part of the process. I loved watching the people too. My favorite was when a mother came to her three little girls. She knelt down, forehead to forehead with each girl, asking for their forgiveness. The little girls would giggle, and whisper, "God forgives and so do I" and then throw their arms around her.

I wound around the church, hugging and greeting and kissing cheeks. Some people took my hands and others clasped their hands in front of them. Some hugged me, some patted my shoulder and some just nodded. Some kissed me on the cheek while others gave me light air kisses, skirting my face by several inches. Yet all of them looked me in the eye, smiling all the way.

I was a bit awed by the whole thing. An entire church asking each others' forgiveness? That makes it a little hard to hold grudges, at least grudges that last longer than a year. On the way home, Rosey mentioned that she liked the physical aspect of the church, especially in that service. Crossing ourselves is one way that it is done, bowing another. That forgiveness service was yet another way to use our bodies to connect, to worship. I not only heard each church member verbalize their apologies, but I felt women's soft hands squeezing my arm, old men's beards scratching my cheek, children's arms wrapping around me. The community was almost tangible.

Someone mentioned to me that forgiveness should not be relegated to one Sunday a year. True, forgiveness should happen everyday, but does it? The forgiveness given in the service is not an obligation to be performed and soon forgotten but a reminder of what should be daily behavior.

If I have done anything in the past year to hurt or offend you, will you forgive me?
God forgives, and so do I.

Lord Have Mercy

Lord have mercy.

This is a prayer that is often said in the church I've been attending, St. Nicholas Orthodox Church. It is often said three times in a row to reflect the Trinity.

A friend went along with me one Sunday to visit the church. When we talked about it later, the thing that stuck with him was the "Lord have mercy" prayer. Even though he isn't orthodox, he said that he had said it many times over the past week.

What is it about this prayer? What makes it so special?

I think there is something to be said in its simplicity. In saying this prayer, we don't have to worry about sounding good or making the words come out right. We are not imressing anyone with our eloquence. In fact, we are admitting the fact that we don't have it all together, we need his help.

This prayer is for both the good times and the bad times. In times have hardship, may the Lord have mercy on us to give us strength and bring us comfort. May he have mercy on our weaknesses and build us up. In times of happiness, may the Lord keep us walking in his path and shelter us from harm. May his will be done in our lives.

Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, for now, and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Numb

I have not written in a long time. I guess I'm not really much of a blogger anyway. But oh well.

Although this whole blog is called The Life Intentional, I have missed that most of last semester. The summer was such a great time with God. I was often lonely (yes, even with all the people around), but God was so close. Every morning I woke up early to read the Bible and pray. I prayed and tried to make every act a service to God. Many nights before bed I wrapped myself in a quilt, looked at the stars, and prayed and meditated on God. It was amazing.

But then I went back to school. It was coming down from the mountain, both literally and figuratively. Part of it was refusing to adapt to change. Part of it was getting caught up in business. And part was a refusal to live the way I could and should.

Not to say that this semester was a total waste; it wasn't that at all. I've learned many things. I've had my ups, times when I listened, times when I prayed. I've started going to a church that has been challenging me and teaching me new things. But I've had more downs than ups.

I am tired of my self-centeredness, my lack of love, and the way I ignore God. I want that to stop! Although the fact that it is New Year's Day is a coincidence, I do hope that this year will be different. I want to be alive again. I want to live intentionally like I know I should. For this I pray.

Lord have mercy.