Numb

I have not written in a long time. I guess I'm not really much of a blogger anyway. But oh well.

Although this whole blog is called The Life Intentional, I have missed that most of last semester. The summer was such a great time with God. I was often lonely (yes, even with all the people around), but God was so close. Every morning I woke up early to read the Bible and pray. I prayed and tried to make every act a service to God. Many nights before bed I wrapped myself in a quilt, looked at the stars, and prayed and meditated on God. It was amazing.

But then I went back to school. It was coming down from the mountain, both literally and figuratively. Part of it was refusing to adapt to change. Part of it was getting caught up in business. And part was a refusal to live the way I could and should.

Not to say that this semester was a total waste; it wasn't that at all. I've learned many things. I've had my ups, times when I listened, times when I prayed. I've started going to a church that has been challenging me and teaching me new things. But I've had more downs than ups.

I am tired of my self-centeredness, my lack of love, and the way I ignore God. I want that to stop! Although the fact that it is New Year's Day is a coincidence, I do hope that this year will be different. I want to be alive again. I want to live intentionally like I know I should. For this I pray.

Lord have mercy.